Track 1

ok forreal, I really really do want to get back to writing. on here I mean :) re-starting up with a new series (which shall remain untitled in the mean time) which features the most impactful songs of my catalog. they are likely to be poignant, but all in good measure? if that's possible I guess. anyway

my dear Donny Hathaway, it has been some time. I don't recall what lead me back to his music yesterday, but I'm all the more happy, to say the very least, that I did. he also falls on the list of most influential people in my life. this song is among my three most favorite songs of his. the moment I heard it, I thought of my Wedding Day. I may have yet to experience such a love and growth in another being, but I sure hope that this'll be our first dance together as man and woman. I'm sure this sparks a, more or less, concerned curiosity for such a lyric/melody that should be played at a time of union that begins the love to forever --

but that's just it. "For all we know" we don't know much: we don't know what'll happen at the end of this song or this dance, from the time you let go of my waist and I your hand may be the last moments two will ever have together. this may not even be real. one may wake up and realize what one has done, what was promised and be filled with regret and fury at what she has caused. anything can take place and be altered from an unknown expense.

so let's prolong this. let's have this one dance be entirely ours for all to witness and take part in. let us hold each other and know that at that moment, I am yours and you are mine. for the entire three minutes and forty seconds I am only devoted to you and you to me. For All We Know, we have this, and I am yours.

Dedicated to my love.
Love, B

Front page of my journal, hanging on my wall

"The Fly"
William Blake

Little Fly,

Thy summer's play

My thoughtless hand

Has brush'd away

Am not I
A fly like thee?

Or art not thou

A man like me?

For I dance,
And drink, and sing,
Til some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life,
And strength is breath
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly
If I live,
or if I die.

Guess who's back in the, HOUSE

been coming back here a few times within the last couple days now. was goin through my stuff and couldn't help but feel proud (for lack of a better word) of what I've accomplished here. this.. hiatus of thought, we'll call it, has been pushing and pushing itself to the fore-front for the past 2 years or so, yet I still managed to bring some streams of consciousness and awakened the innards of it all. feelin different than before becaaause.. THIS WRITER'S BLOCK IS MUTHALOVIN OVER (I think). my last post was dated October 17th; feels like a hella long time ago but when you count it out, 4 months doesn't seem so bad(?). which brings me to my next point..

thought I was optimistic before, but I'm somehow even more so now. it just keeps getting stronger, this elevated view on life! by the end of the day, happy BB days > thought consumed angry/unsettling nights :):):) I know hey, wtf! even better cus this'd be my first post of the year. holla! BUT!.. I must not let my fingertips pressing the keyboard surpass my fingers holding the pen against the paper. wow, now that I really think about it, I tried writing today and was proven unsuccessful.. maybe it was the spot I was at: it was a distracting kind of noisy, couldn't enjoy my Music the way I normally would even amongst the life around me. I hope that moment stays that moment and won't grow into something similar to what these past 4 months have been :/

anyway, it's currently 5:33am (the latest I've been up since summer). I shall see you soon :)
Love, B

currently 10:21 in the morning and I've been up for a few hours now. it feels like a morning from high school. legit. I loved high school for the different experiences I had and at the place and state I was back then,... I'd just crumble to my knees if I ever got the chance to just see that girl again. it may be that a this month is finally turning around my life for me, but even so, have faith in me when I say, this is truly an Amazing feeling

Love, B

Another sleepless night

Rudy Fransiscooo