(exasperated sigh)
It's been my goal since forever at random points in my life to blog everyday
despite the kind of day I've had/been having.
I just wanted to write.
About anything: my care-free day, my frusterating test, the lame joke Jessica told me, the stupid drama people come up with, my emo-ness ness, sudden realizations and what not.
But of course, something always gets in the way.
Whether it be lame homework, annoying tiredness, or my stupid forgetful memory, I cannot keep up with myself as well as my supposed simple goal.

But actually, I've reeeally been thinking about it.
Therefore I have come to the conclusion that I simply choose not to write.
& for a while, I've been in deeep 'metacognition' and have been trying to understand why I didn't want to write.
Hlysht did it bug me, haha.
But I chose not to write about the emotional stress that I go through, good or bad.
I don't like dwelling on the shit I got; to see it everyday, to read it everyday.

Today, however, marks history.
...Haha, but I'm not going to tell you what has driven me to this epiphany (sucka). For once in my life, I don't want to know or even think about what your thinking if I were to tell you.

If you can find the revelance of Jericho/ Soo/ fish/ Edmonton? Calgary.../ September 30/ August 24/ December 11 together, than holy fck I guess I've found my soulmate. Reveal yourself!! Haha!

Hahaha I like how this post is exactly after the previous Encounter. But aaaanyways...

I feel so unsatisfied. My Encounter experience wasn't as fulfilling as I had hope for; I'm pretty sure that this is not resulting in my high expectations of it either. Not saying that I did not enjoy it, however. Everyone has made comparisons to YFC in saying that it is 'waaayy better', which I will agree with. The way the sessions and discussions are held and what not. But for me on a personal level, & though I did try, I was not able to let go of the things I was planning to so as to make this weekend "life changing". & I feel so shiiiiitty. After this Encounter, I wanted to become a new person and look at things even more different than I do now. I wanted/needed that inspiration that I have been longing for. I just feel so empty. I thought that I was only feeling so let down and angered last night. I woke up this morning in a better mood though! Sill no revelation though.

& I am so bummed (to say the least).

Now I am sitting on my chair still attempting to freaking finish my english essay for my project. Normally this is peace easy for me. oh btw, my teacher gave me an extension; supposed to be due exactly last week. Wth man. Words cannot illustrate how frusterated I am with myself. I want to cry just to let it all out, but I can't. I just need some sort of inspiration that doesn't occur for only one moment in the day filling that bigass void within me. Was hoping it would be Encounter...

God, I miss You.
Pleeease come back into my life.
I need to go back to who I am; who I was.
I need You.

what the eff ?!!

Sooooo today was probably one of the best i've ever had so far.
++ might i mention, i had a super chill dope time with my classmates.

pls do excuse me if you take offense but i speak for everyone when i say that i never thought i'd see the day where i can admit to having a good time with my classmates. everyone, including myself, always spoke so low of us saying how we're lame and we don't party and all that shizz. fuck that shit! since i am too GG (Good Girl) for most people, i freaking love my class for not falling into that kind of junk. cus forreal, i had sooo much fun today; the most fun i had in a whiile. & it was while organizing freaking parent teacher interviews!!

but brb! bro's kicking me off>=( but it is quite late..i shall continue later...

XOXO Gossip Girl

Adele's the shit

"Every woman is in the relationship she wants"