Friday, January 8

I love to love

it's so beautiful to just let it out, forcing whatever you've been keeping in the back burner to jump out and just hope for a bittersweet ending at the very least. just as well, it's amazing what happens when you just put yourself out there. even further, it's so uplifting when you catch yourself doing something you never thought you would. & so you see yourself doing it, feeling the weight of the matter at your very fingertips, and you're just laughing to yourself cus you think you're crazy. sometimes you follow through, or maybe you're just too embarrassed, ashamed, or frazzled and try to collect the remainders of that instant, hoping it'll never happen again.

I just ranted on my 'private blog' about how sh/tty my life's been as of late. how ready I am to collapse under my feet cus of I'm so irritated with my reflection of self; some crazy ish like that. I know that I'm lying to myself at least a little when I reason it's because I'm scared I might hurt people with whatever I'm trying to say. in everything I do in life, I try to stay committed with an honest heart. therefor, you can't please everyone right?

but of course I'm lying to myself. haha, not saying I'm going to tell all on this blog rather than my other one and vice versa. I'm just saying, don't let yourself do and not do things out of fear of something or someone else (unlike myself). don't restrict your abilities or act with haste. likewise, don't let other peoples' opinions or how you were brought up or certain levels or thinking serve as barriers for your own expansion of thought. for you'll miss everything in between, which is what really counts. take the time and take note of everything that's been placed before you and love that journey from that place to the next. it's only then that you realize who you are and who you'll become, maybe even in a figurative sense for someone else. well of course you can't help but smile cus it happened, maybe even laugh a little, right?


Love, B