Wednesday, February 23

Front page of my journal, hanging on my wall

"The Fly"
William Blake

Little Fly,
Thy summer's play
My thoughtless hand
Has brush'd away

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance,
And drink, and sing,
Til some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life,
And strength is breath
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly
If I live,
or if I die.

Sunday, February 20

Guess who's back in the, HOUSE

been coming back here a few times within the last couple days now. was goin through my stuff and couldn't help but feel proud (for lack of a better word) of what I've accomplished here. this.. hiatus of thought, we'll call it, has been pushing and pushing itself to the fore-front for the past 2 years or so, yet I still managed to bring some streams of consciousness and awakened the innards of it all. feelin different than before becaaause.. THIS WRITER'S BLOCK IS MUTHALOVIN OVER (I think). my last post was dated October 17th; feels like a hella long time ago but when you count it out, 4 months doesn't seem so bad(?). which brings me to my next point..

thought I was optimistic before, but I'm somehow even more so now. it just keeps getting stronger, this elevated view on life! by the end of the day, happy BB days > thought consumed angry/unsettling nights :):):) I know hey, wtf! even better cus this'd be my first post of the year. holla! BUT!.. I must not let my fingertips pressing the keyboard surpass my fingers holding the pen against the paper. wow, now that I really think about it, I tried writing today and was proven unsuccessful.. maybe it was the spot I was at: it was a distracting kind of noisy, couldn't enjoy my Music the way I normally would even amongst the life around me. I hope that moment stays that moment and won't grow into something similar to what these past 4 months have been :/

anyway, it's currently 5:33am (the latest I've been up since summer). I shall see you soon :)
Love, B