Friday, April 30

so much for bloggin more often, eh? haha! I'd like to note that this is improvement, aright. lol. msn conversing with the GREAT Carmen Sit (L); she brought up the whole "dance as a career" thing. I told her how I think about it all the time and how I keep changing my mind and what not, but what I really loved actually, was her response to the same question. she's totally right!! especially with something as delicate as this. I'm not sure if I want to have something I('ve always) love(d) to be my job. haha, ironic huh. but forreal.. I don't know why haha! I mean, I don't want it to get tainted with all these bad as well as good experiences that arise, but of course I'd love to share what I've grown up with and detail why it's so important to me or how it's affected me. stuff like that y'know. I guess we shall see :) right now, I'm just in love with learning, and I hope to be for the rest of my life.

aaaanyway, just a couple good ones before I crash

no need for an intro on this one, lol

if you haven't already, meet Jill. she's friggen dope. me and her go waaayy back. haha we both started singing with the same instructor, same elementary school, same high school, same choir. shoooot (L)

night y'all!

Love, B

Thursday, April 22

I know I ain't right

9:50pm and I've done prep for 1/10 possible essay Q's for my Engl final. actually, what a fool is I!? I've been on that same one for almost an hour now and not even half done. f[m]l is right. ha. but ye, finally gonna start blogging (at least almost) daily now. hella inspired by this love's awareness/confidence in the real. heading back to basics and just gonna write like tomorrow lives, how life feeds my enthusiasm for it in turn. excuse my lack of html skills :$


man, I just realy miss singing.

I've never used the term before, but I believe it is roflcopter? HAHA

still got a 1200 word reflective essay to write as well as a bonus assignement that I def need to try to get to. yeah? =\

Love, B
there was something that I just reeeeally wanted to write down. I remembered during work actually, and I wanted to write like an 'X' or something on my knuckle so that I can just recall what happened at that time of day. I don't even remember if it was just a random memory that popped to mind, that 'angered baby' picture I can never get over, a kick in the azz that I needed, a "You-know-what-I-just-realized" type thing. or somethin. I didn't write mark an 'X' anywhere and I haven't written anything down. I hope it'll get at me soon (u) I guess there goes my 'X' then? hm.

anytoots, World Religions at 9am, Psych at 1pm.
be sure to mark your X's tom, k. make sure you foster even a hint of joy within that millisecond of your day. oh & smile. :)

Love, B

Sunday, April 4

halfway to Destiny

such perfect timing ...

chyup, my Moleskine has def taken over. gonna try my best and keep up with this of course and not use my tumblr. ever.. hahaha. gonna keep this short and sweet tho.

this week's been hella good. in total, I've had about 12 hrs of dance and that's not including Sickstylz, Set It Off, or the rehearsal time in between both on Sunday. shoot, can't believe that I used to rehearse for hours on end every single day too cus right now I'm HELLA beat. it's been amazing tho. Bianca and Tracy from Choreo Cookies and Andrew from So Real were in town for Don't Stop the Love. got to hang out and take class with as well as from them too. I've learned so much just from those 3 in and out of the studio, I can never feel anymore humbled.

cutting down to it tho, never realized how much I've been losing myself in alla this ish that's been going on lately. I mean, 'tis why I haven't been blogging [and sometimes writing]. not cus I'm emo lol, but cus I've just been really trying to figure and sort things out. really trying to understand why things are the way they are or turn our the way they do and just make something out of it.

m a k e s o m e t h i n g o u t o f i t . . . see that's what I've been forgeting. I read this little thang offa something somewhere some time this week saying "You don't find yourself, you create yourself." it hit me so hard cus I've been living exactly that first bit almost my entire life because of how rough it's always been. but that's just it. I've been losing sight of where I've come from. how each day I would literally take all of it, the good the not so great, lay it right in front of me, and fashion it into something else. 'tis where my Music comes from. don't matter if you see it or not, but I leave my heart and soul out there on stage or in the studio. not to impress people, not even to impress myself, but cus those two are places are where I can not only be happy with myself but also be proud of myself. proud of were I've come from, how I got there, and for what will come next. proud that I can triumph no matter what. proud that there's some sort of good in this world, that there's a place I can settle in. proud that there's a place for a girl like me whose dreams are too big to reach sometimes. haha.

with that said, you create You. don't let anybody stop you from just doing so.

Love, B