Tuesday, December 9

Hahaha I like how this post is exactly after the previous Encounter. But aaaanyways...

I feel so unsatisfied. My Encounter experience wasn't as fulfilling as I had hope for; I'm pretty sure that this is not resulting in my high expectations of it either. Not saying that I did not enjoy it, however. Everyone has made comparisons to YFC in saying that it is 'waaayy better', which I will agree with. The way the sessions and discussions are held and what not. But for me on a personal level, & though I did try, I was not able to let go of the things I was planning to so as to make this weekend "life changing". & I feel so shiiiiitty. After this Encounter, I wanted to become a new person and look at things even more different than I do now. I wanted/needed that inspiration that I have been longing for. I just feel so empty. I thought that I was only feeling so let down and angered last night. I woke up this morning in a better mood though! Sill no revelation though

& I am so bummed (to say the least).

Now I am sitting on my chair still attempting to freaking finish my english essay for my project. Normally this is peace easy for me. oh btw, my teacher gave me an extension; supposed to be due exactly last week. Wth man. Words cannot illustrate how frusterated I am with myself. I want to cry just to let it all out, but I can't. I just need some sort of inspiration that doesn't occur for only one moment in the day filling that bigass void within me. Was hoping it would be Encounter...

God, I miss You.
Pleeease come back into my life.
I need to go back to who I am; who I was.
I need You.