Monday, May 11

I managed to do it

the 'essay' for the Choral Activities scholarship. derived from past entries, so no you're not crazy for remembering a thing or too . . .

'The Choral Activities Award" is awarded to a student for outstanding achievement, consistent commitment, and leadership in the Choral program. In the space provided, explain why you are a good candidate for this award.

(Chicago'07 in the tiniest nutshell in the world. originators of CC love fasho, y'all)

It was the last few songs of our repertoire that night in Chicago. We were all exhausted; you can see it in the weariness upon our faces not simply from the emotion the text in the piece called for but also from the difficulty evident in the struggle to hold merely acceptable posture while singing. Nonetheless, we carried ourselves bearing the importance of engaging the imagination so not to illustrate the fatigue felt by all.

Before the last three pieces, I placed myself in deep metacognition completely unaware that I was doing so to begin with. As each song was sung, or more so embodied, I reached deeper dancing so passionately with my thoughts of love for the moment that took place. The years of pain, struggle and desperation were defeated by my heart, my music, my love that I’ve been breathing with since before such darkness. All my feelings of complete distastefulness for ones I most cared for, suffering for the ones I lost to God, and complete wretchedness for the one I feared most, me, all diminished by something I never knew could hold so much power.


More and more I released myself becoming vulnerable to every phrase within each song. I let the tears well within my eyes and pour down my face with no debate as I watched everyone in the choir, as well as the audience, engaged with our conductor, pianist, and ourselves. I wept and I sang managing to maintain vocal technique with my fellow artists delivering the intent of each piece even more successfully. We stayed with each other ‘til the very end. I would have never found the beauty that's been aching to paint itself on this dark blank canvas that's been draped over me all these years if it not for that moment.


I keep in mind this blissful occurrence every day so that I may create more spectacular instances for everyone I encounter. I live the fact that everyone deserves the best out of any situation, no matter the circumstance.


weak ending! but w/e, i had to somehow limit myself to 200 words even though i exceed with 340 ... k i'm sheepy. night night

Love, B

3 comments:

cas said...

Abby that was beautiful. I really hope you get it
Cause it sure as hell sounds like you
Deserve it! But are you allowed to say
" 'til"? Haha sorry it caught my eye.

A Therese said...

haha thanks love, i caught it too! i was just free writing, then i slapped it on here. i hadn't edited it yet

jessica [n] said...

LOVE it alto mama :) Good luck!